For the Love of God, Can We Just Get That Off the Ceiling!!!

Do you ever just stand in the shower and think "Will I ever just have it all together?" I probably have that thought about every couple of months or so. I seem to get in a grove and then all of a sudden I feel like I am back at square one. It is like I am on a roller coaster. The moments like that usually happen when my routine is broken up or things just keep going wrong right after one another (hence the broken ceramic bowl a couple weeks ago). I try not to get to what I call the boiling point. The point where I just can't handle it anymore and I explode. It isn't good and it usually ends up with me either breaking something or me yelling at my family =(

I have come to appreciate the "square one" or the beginning (for the most part). Fresh starts are so "refreshing" in a way. I like being able to start with a clean slate. Each time I end up starting new, I feel slightly better about myself. Weird, huh? I know! It would be nice if I could just keep it together and not get to my boiling point but that just isn't reality. Even when you are on a diet, diets have "cheat days" cuz who can keep it together all the time? Sometimes a "fresh" look at things can be a good thing. I've come up with new ideas or better ways to organize. It has even helped me to get rid of some things. It doesn't have to be bad.

When considering a "fresh" start, do yourself a favor.

1. Make small goals. When I say small, I mean tiny, manageable, no problem getting this goal done type of small goals. 20 minutes a day in a problem area is such a great, small goal. 20 minutes, that is all it takes. Even if you skip a day or two, it is in the forethought of your mind and if you try to stick with it, it will eventually stick.

2. Make lists. Make tons and tons of lists. I have lists everywhere. I mean everywhere. In my phone, in a million notebooks, on a million sheets of paper. I have also put dry erase boards on the wall of every room. For me, if it is not written down, I forget it. End of Story. Do not pass Go and collect $200 because I am not remembering what I wanted to do. Don't worry if you don't cross everything off the list right away or even at all. I have a journal that has about 3 pages worth of a list. Sometimes I cross something off of it, sometimes I don't. Don't harp over the list. Just have a list or two or a hundred. Who cares, just have one. It will serve as a reminder and eventually you will learn how to prioritize and fulfill the things on the lists. But you have to start somewhere.

3. Start somewhere. Anywhere. Don't let yourself sit in a rut of unhappiness or frustration. Don't do it. I know its hard. I have been there several times. Just don't do it. Ask for help, research, read blogs. Do something to help you get started. I am afraid to fail but that doesn't mean I won't try something. I even get upset when I fail but you have to start somewhere and you can't let the failures keep you from trying. I hate the saying "don't be afraid to fail" because being afraid and not doing something are two different things. I am afraid most of the time but I don't let that fear tell me what to do.

4. Take things slow. Realize that you are human and have your limits. Do not push yourself too hard or too fast. You most likely will not be successful and that will just cause you to be more frustrated. Plan, pray about it, write it down, discuss it with someone, or whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that you are taking it slow and making manageable goals. A friend posted a blog post that I found interesting. It was a post about 33 things that the author did everyday. Before I starting reading it, I was like "33 things, that seems easy". I then started reading it and immediately became overwhelmed. The amount (or maybe the extent) of tasks she did just made me feel instantly stressed. As I thought about it, I realized that I probably do more than 33 tasks in one day but to have them all written down like that made it seem so overwhelming. One day I might decide to count how many tasks I do. I am curious to know the number because if it is more than 33 (like I think) then I will know that I am capable of doing 33 tasks in one day. I think I might even start with doing one task per day and start adding tasks as I feel I can achieve them. See...taking things slow.

http://moneysavingmom.com/2015/06/33-things-i-do-almost-every-day-that-make-my-day-so-much-better.html

5. Don't for one minute think that I have it all put together. Come to my house and I will show you how "put together" I am...lol. I haven't been as successful with the 30 day cleaning challenge (at least following what room I had assigned for that day) as I have been with my 30 day oil challenge but I have gotten more cleaned in my house. Most days I have actually probably cleaned more than 20 minutes. I don't call that a failure. I call that progress because I am being intentional with my time and my goals. They just aren't following the exact format I have set in place but something is getting done!

I hope that no one gets to the their boiling point. It is no fun. I hope that I can provide some motivation and encouragement. This is something that I have struggled with what is probably my whole life. I will probably continue to struggle with it but I hope that I am starting to create good, productive habits that will turn into normal, functioning life. Now to go yell at my husband to "For the love of God get whatever that is off the ceiling."

So many shows...so little time

One of what I feel like is only a few things that Eric and I have in common is our love for TV and movies. We might not have the same exact taste when it comes to TV and movies but for the most part we are pretty eye to eye. It is one of the reason why I fell in love with him and I love that we can share this passion together.

This summer we are taking the opportunity to catch on shows we wanted to watch but either got interested in them a few seasons in or didn't have time to watch them during the year. I wanted to watch the CW's Flash when it premiered in the Fall but it had connections to CW's Arrow that I didn't know about. Arrow is one that I was interested in but was currently boycotting because they used a different actor than the one that was in several seasons of the CW's Smallville. I was not a happy camper when I learned that Justin Hartley was not going to be the actor in the "spin-off". I am still bitter about it, in fact. In fact, I think I am refusing to believe that I am actually watching "Arrow" because that is in fact not "Arrow". It is also a "tension" point between Eric and I. He loves the new Arrow better and is glad the old Arrow got replaced (Insert eye roll).

I mean, come on...who can replace him

I think I would have originally liked the new actor that plays Arrow if they didn't have the character on Smallville. You can't change things on me. It's just not cool.

In addition to catching up on the CW's Arrow, I want to catch up on the CW's Flash. We are also hoping to finish the Seinfield series (another one that Eric loves and I just roll my eyes). Independently, I would like to watch the whole series of CBS's Survivor and the Amazing Race (now that is a big feat!!). I also wouldn't mind catching up on CBS's NCIS LA. My question is...do you have any suggestions on shows we should watch while we have the time?? I know there are so many out there and I want to know which ones we are missing out on!

Did Someone Say it is July? Say What? No Way!

July

July is an awesome month. Why you ask? Well it is my birthday month so naturally it would be awesome! I am shocked by how fast the year has gone. I can't believe that the year is half over. It is unbelievable. I am a person that is motivated by lists. Everything has to be written down because I either forget about it or don't feel like doing it. If my whole life could be a checklist, that would be wonderful. I know that is not possible and that it puts way too much pressure on myself but at least I would know what I was supposed to being doing when I am supposed to be doing it. It would be a nice guideline to life at least. I am going to try to be a little more organized and what better time to be positive and get my act in gear than July, my birthday month. So here I go!

2 Challenges

During the month of July, I have challenged myself with two challenges. Usually when I think of challenges it is in the middle of the month and then by the time the beginning of the next month roles around I forget all about it (insert failed ab, squat, pushup, cleaning challenge, etc...). I am excited that I came up with both of these challenges at the beginning of the month and hopefully I can see them through!

Challenge #1

The first challenge is to spend 20 minutes a day on an area of the house in hopes to eventually get it all put together. I actually started this challenge earlier than the 1st and have been very pleased with the results. Depending on how I am doing on my regular cleaning of the house, I might have to alter the task for each day but I am very hopeful that this will help me get things together. I am sick of the house just being so unorganized and cluttered. Here is to creating a good habit and feeling better about myself and also not going crazy living in my house. 

Challenge #2

The second challenge is to make a post everyday on Facebook about how I am using the Essential Oils that are in Young Living's Premium Starter Kit. I have been using Young Living Essential Oils since March and have been completely obsessed with them and what all I can use them for. The Premium Starter Kit is a great value and it does a really good job at showcasing the versatility of the oils that Young Living offers. I love these oils and I am excited to share my love with anyone that will listen to me. Make sure to check my Facebook page for a daily post to see what I am crazy about that day.

Happy July to everyone! It is my favorite month (for obvious reasons)! I hope everyone can enjoy it!

Wow...talk about procrastination!

Long Time, No See

It has been a year and a half since my last post. I was in a really bad place...mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc... I felt like all I was doing was complaining which wasn't good for anyone. I still have things I wish were better and days that I can't handle but at least I feel like I am in a better place. At least most of the time.

A little update

Since my last blog, I have found a full-time job, I am expecting our second child, Harper is almost 3 and Eric and I have been married for almost 4 1/2 years. While it is nice to be more financially stable, I am absolutely exhausted. Eric works evenings so I have Harper by myself during the times when we are both fatigued. It is not a lovely combo plus add the lovely pregnancy fatigue. I am also feeling like I don't get quality time with Harper. I am trying to be patient and content. This is just a season of life until Eric can get through school and a new opportunity is presented to us.

I am due at the beginning of September and it couldn't come fast enough. I am carrying this baby so low that it is so uncomfortable. I can't sit, I can't stand and I can't sleep. Before anyone asks...we aren't finding out the gender of the baby.

Moving Forward

I am hoping to get back into the blogging spirit so bare with me. I promise to try to not be whiny. I promise to try to be uplifting. I promise to try and share more. I promise to try to be a doer and not a wisher.

Money, money, money, money, MONEY

This is a little late of my once a week blog but her it is...

I have no one idea what to write this blog on. I had so many ideas weeks ago but I don’t think I could develop them into anything now. One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is money. I hate how money is needed for like everything. Eric and I have been living under the poverty line since we got married. We have been able to make it because we live off less, I had the ability to stay on my parents insurance, and Eric (thankfully) hasn’t needed health care. But still, we were/are living month to month and our savings every month (if any) are very minimal. It makes me wonder if we will ever make it out of this phase. I believe the phrase that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer is true. And what (if anything can be don’t about it) is being done about it?

I am asking myself if the new law to provide health care for those working 30+ hours will really work. I am finding myself unable to get that many hours at my current job because they don’t want the added cost of paying benefits. Now I could be totally wrong at how this is supposed to work but to me, it doesn’t seem like it will work that great. Yeah, it might provide more jobs for people but most people need something more substantial.

My friend Tina just posted this article that I thought was very true.

http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/no--you-can-t-just--bootstrap--yourself-out-of-poverty-172104522.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory

I have only experienced the first two parts of this article but it doesn’t make my situation any easier. When she posted it she said, “Amen! There are so many bigger or hidden forces at work that you don't know about unless you live it, that's why you can't make assumptions and seek to recommend solutions that work for one group to another group where those solutions are unobtainable”. I think this is a very true statement. (Tina, I appreciate your posts because I truly believe that you get it!)

I also wonder if I should just give up my search of my “dream job” and work at like McDonalds and work into management just so I can have a full-time job. To me, that is no way to live. I also find myself in the situation where a business won’t hire me because I am searching for a full-time position in a field that I would consider my “dream field” (which is athletics, btw). How am I supposed to gain experience in anything if no one will give me a chance? Or if my “dream field” won’t hire me because of my “lack” of experience.

I feel like I work really hard but don’t get very far very fast. It is the most frustrating and depressing thing to me. I keep trying to stay positive and remind myself that God has a plan but the more we wait, the more sad I get about the situation.

What I really want is

1. For this to not be anyone’s situation. That people who need jobs find them and find the ones that they want.

2. For there to be some way for the poor to get out of the poor phase of their life.

3. For people who are in good positions to find ways to help others reach a better phase in their life. Whether that be financially, socially or by praying.

It might seem like I am complaining (which I probably am). But to me it is fighting. All I want is a chance to prove how good a worker I can be and how I thrive on helping other people. Also, I hope to enlighten people that not everyone asks to be put in this situation. That some people don’t abuse the help that they are given. That they embrace the help they are given to help make opportunities for themselves. That the truly need it to hopefully one day get out of their situation. 

This week was really stressful on me and I guess this was my way to process it. I had to do some things that I didn’t really want to do because of the position that we are in. But I did, because it needed to be done and to be honest, I am happy to help in any way that I can. Just one day I hope to not have to do some things because I have to but because I want to.

Don’t beat me up too much over this post...just pray for me or anyone that you know who is in this situation. =)

Insert Typical New Year's Resolution Here...

I am really mad at myself that I haven't written a blog post in two months. I have so much that I want to write about but I didn't have the discipline/will-power to sit down and think through my thoughts. It takes me so long to sort through my thoughts and get them written down the exact way that I want them. Here are my hopes for 2014 and my resolutions for 2014. This will be a longer post, just to give you warning ;)

A few things that I am hoping for this year...

1) That we finally will be able to move into a place of our own.

I know that things could be much worse and that I should be thankful that I even have a place to live. But we have been living with someone for over a year now and it has become really hard. I miss our things. You know the things that you really don't need but the things that you enjoy. Like our DVD's, books, pots and pans, my blender, our KING size bed, and many more things. I know that it is possible to live on very little and still have a good life but, boy do I miss our things. So many of our friends and family bought us so many wonderful things and I am very sad that I don't get to use/enjoy them. 

2) That I can find either a full-time job with benefits or a job that increases our income substantially while Eric finishes up school.

I have been searching for a full-time job in my field (Sport Management) since I graduated in 2012. Yes, I did just have a baby but I am/was eager to work. I want a career. Instead I feel like somedays I will never have one. I am reminded by many people that I am young (which I am when I really think about it and convince myself) and that I still have my whole life ahead of me (which I do). But my anxiety about not finding a job right now in my field makes me freak out. That if I don't find a job now I will miss the boat and fall really behind and I will never gain the experience I need to get a job in my field. Cuz you know you have to have like 3-5 years experience even though it is entry-level position. It is such a vicious cycle that I am not fond of at all. I have had several job interviews and I have applied to many places and nothing...nota. It has been extremely hard for me to watch people I know get these opportunities that I could have had or should have had. It takes a lot of energy and strength to remind myself that God has a plan for me and that I just need to be patient. Patience is not easy for me by any means. 

3) That I can/will start a Graduate program.

I want to get my masters but I feel like I have a billion questions. What do I get my master's in... Sport Management, Sport Administration, Public Administration, MBA, Recreation, etc? Where do I get it from? Should I do it online or commute. Should I be a graduate assistant? I have no idea what to do. I have even thought about going back to school to get a teaching certificate in Math or get another bachelor's in something else. I just need someone to limit my options so that I can pick something. So if anyone has any suggestions...please don't hesitate to ask =) 

Now for the typical New Year's Resolutions...

1) Loose the pooch...I want to lose the stupid fat that has decided to invade my abs region.

I hate that I look like I am pregnant. I desperately want to fit back into my clothes. I don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe. I have already started some fitness stuff and have lost inches!! I started as a size 13 jean and now I wear a size 11 (yeah!!). I have been going to yoga classes with the lovely Emily and it has been amazing. I think it was good for me to start out small and gain some of my core back that I lost while being pregnant. Yoga is amazing!! It has helped me to relax, gain some muscle slowly back, and my back/neck/shoulders has never felt better. I would like to work my way up to something a little more intense and get back to running once it starts to warm up (eventually). So if you need a workout buddy, don't hesitate to ask me =) I really need the accountability/motivation. 

2) Blog at least once a week.

This one will be really hard for me. I will really have to buckle down and motivate myself to do it. I have so much to say but don't want to spend the time organizing my thoughts so that they make sense and don't sound harsh or stupid. I wanted to make a difficult resolution because I really wanted to push myself. So here it is...feel free to bug me about a blog post if I am slacking ;)

3) Keep a pray journal and dedicate more of my time to praying.

This one I keep meaning to do all the time but somehow I forget. How can you forget to take time to just pray? Don't read into this wrong... I pray (a lot) but it is really just random/short prayers throughout the day, not dedicated time to just pray. But what I really want is to take more time to pray without interruption and with as much time as it takes for that day. This one I haven't done as well with as I would like but there is plenty of time to improve. 

4) Read the whole Bible with Eric and continue doing a couple's devotion.

It has always been a goal of mine to read the whole Bible. What better motivation than to do it with you spouse! 

5) Decide where and what I want to get my master's and Start a program.

See above post about picking a program.  

So there you have it! My hopes and goals for 2014. I hope that you all have a very blessed 2014 and that it is everything you hope and dream of =)

Cheers to 2014!

 

Bittersweet Farewell

This weekend was AMAZING. I almost hate to say it like that considering the circumstances but I will give you my reasoning. This weekend we celebrated the life of Eric’s grandmother, Sophie. It was a bittersweet goodbye. She had been fighting cancer for a long time and was really suffering. It is comforting to know that she is no longer suffering and that she is in the presence of the Lord. But, it is really sad that she is no longer with us.

She was an amazing woman and I wish that I could have had more time with her earlier in her life. I met her about 5 years ago. I didn’t really get to know her until about 3 years ago. There are several things I love about her.

1) She has the biggest heart and a lot of love for the Lord. She always said that she would pray for things in our life and I truly believe she did.

2) She is one of the funniest people I know. She has the quickest wit I have heard/seen.

3) She wasn’t afraid to say the hard things.

4) She loved her family dearly.

5) And many more things....

I believe that God had perfect timing for this, not that it makes it any easier. It still doesn’t seem real. I know that it was really refreshing to have time away from a busy life schedule to spend with family and relax. As hard as it is/was to say goodbye, it brought on some much needed family time.

Things I loved doing...

1) Listening to the funny stories at Olive Garden

2) Watching Harper being confused about seeing her twin cousins Charlotte and Marisa

3) Playing a new game called “Spot It” (And yes, I already bought my own)

4) Playing Dutch Blitz

5) Seeing all of Eric’s family (Laura, Don, Ryan, Sharon, Wayne, Charlotte, Marisa, Carol, Amber, Lorena, Ken, Michaela, Josiah, Connor, Uncle John, Janna, Jo, Randy, Jacqui, and John)

6) Laughs at the bar...many, many laughs

7) Going to the Mall of America with Eric, Harper and Ryan...where I got an awesome looking pair of Merrells, a new Vera Bradley wallet, a pair of Columbia sport sunglasses and the game Spot It.

8) Dinner at Chipotle where Harper preceded to drink her bottle pretty much upside down and the Chipotle worker was so amazed/amused by her.

And probably many, many more fun times with family

I am not trying to be insensitive or hurt anyone’s feelings, so I hope that no one took this like that. I loved Sophie and she was an amazing woman. I believe that she would have wanted this for us.  I have grown closer to my husband and his family. As much as it hurts to say goodbye, God has his perfect plan. It was a time for us to get together and enjoy our family. It was also a time to mourn. Thank you for the amazing life you shared with us, Sophie. We will miss you.