Money, money, money, money, MONEY

This is a little late of my once a week blog but her it is...

I have no one idea what to write this blog on. I had so many ideas weeks ago but I don’t think I could develop them into anything now. One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is money. I hate how money is needed for like everything. Eric and I have been living under the poverty line since we got married. We have been able to make it because we live off less, I had the ability to stay on my parents insurance, and Eric (thankfully) hasn’t needed health care. But still, we were/are living month to month and our savings every month (if any) are very minimal. It makes me wonder if we will ever make it out of this phase. I believe the phrase that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer is true. And what (if anything can be don’t about it) is being done about it?

I am asking myself if the new law to provide health care for those working 30+ hours will really work. I am finding myself unable to get that many hours at my current job because they don’t want the added cost of paying benefits. Now I could be totally wrong at how this is supposed to work but to me, it doesn’t seem like it will work that great. Yeah, it might provide more jobs for people but most people need something more substantial.

My friend Tina just posted this article that I thought was very true.

http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/no--you-can-t-just--bootstrap--yourself-out-of-poverty-172104522.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory

I have only experienced the first two parts of this article but it doesn’t make my situation any easier. When she posted it she said, “Amen! There are so many bigger or hidden forces at work that you don't know about unless you live it, that's why you can't make assumptions and seek to recommend solutions that work for one group to another group where those solutions are unobtainable”. I think this is a very true statement. (Tina, I appreciate your posts because I truly believe that you get it!)

I also wonder if I should just give up my search of my “dream job” and work at like McDonalds and work into management just so I can have a full-time job. To me, that is no way to live. I also find myself in the situation where a business won’t hire me because I am searching for a full-time position in a field that I would consider my “dream field” (which is athletics, btw). How am I supposed to gain experience in anything if no one will give me a chance? Or if my “dream field” won’t hire me because of my “lack” of experience.

I feel like I work really hard but don’t get very far very fast. It is the most frustrating and depressing thing to me. I keep trying to stay positive and remind myself that God has a plan but the more we wait, the more sad I get about the situation.

What I really want is

1. For this to not be anyone’s situation. That people who need jobs find them and find the ones that they want.

2. For there to be some way for the poor to get out of the poor phase of their life.

3. For people who are in good positions to find ways to help others reach a better phase in their life. Whether that be financially, socially or by praying.

It might seem like I am complaining (which I probably am). But to me it is fighting. All I want is a chance to prove how good a worker I can be and how I thrive on helping other people. Also, I hope to enlighten people that not everyone asks to be put in this situation. That some people don’t abuse the help that they are given. That they embrace the help they are given to help make opportunities for themselves. That the truly need it to hopefully one day get out of their situation. 

This week was really stressful on me and I guess this was my way to process it. I had to do some things that I didn’t really want to do because of the position that we are in. But I did, because it needed to be done and to be honest, I am happy to help in any way that I can. Just one day I hope to not have to do some things because I have to but because I want to.

Don’t beat me up too much over this post...just pray for me or anyone that you know who is in this situation. =)

Insert Typical New Year's Resolution Here...

I am really mad at myself that I haven't written a blog post in two months. I have so much that I want to write about but I didn't have the discipline/will-power to sit down and think through my thoughts. It takes me so long to sort through my thoughts and get them written down the exact way that I want them. Here are my hopes for 2014 and my resolutions for 2014. This will be a longer post, just to give you warning ;)

A few things that I am hoping for this year...

1) That we finally will be able to move into a place of our own.

I know that things could be much worse and that I should be thankful that I even have a place to live. But we have been living with someone for over a year now and it has become really hard. I miss our things. You know the things that you really don't need but the things that you enjoy. Like our DVD's, books, pots and pans, my blender, our KING size bed, and many more things. I know that it is possible to live on very little and still have a good life but, boy do I miss our things. So many of our friends and family bought us so many wonderful things and I am very sad that I don't get to use/enjoy them. 

2) That I can find either a full-time job with benefits or a job that increases our income substantially while Eric finishes up school.

I have been searching for a full-time job in my field (Sport Management) since I graduated in 2012. Yes, I did just have a baby but I am/was eager to work. I want a career. Instead I feel like somedays I will never have one. I am reminded by many people that I am young (which I am when I really think about it and convince myself) and that I still have my whole life ahead of me (which I do). But my anxiety about not finding a job right now in my field makes me freak out. That if I don't find a job now I will miss the boat and fall really behind and I will never gain the experience I need to get a job in my field. Cuz you know you have to have like 3-5 years experience even though it is entry-level position. It is such a vicious cycle that I am not fond of at all. I have had several job interviews and I have applied to many places and nothing...nota. It has been extremely hard for me to watch people I know get these opportunities that I could have had or should have had. It takes a lot of energy and strength to remind myself that God has a plan for me and that I just need to be patient. Patience is not easy for me by any means. 

3) That I can/will start a Graduate program.

I want to get my masters but I feel like I have a billion questions. What do I get my master's in... Sport Management, Sport Administration, Public Administration, MBA, Recreation, etc? Where do I get it from? Should I do it online or commute. Should I be a graduate assistant? I have no idea what to do. I have even thought about going back to school to get a teaching certificate in Math or get another bachelor's in something else. I just need someone to limit my options so that I can pick something. So if anyone has any suggestions...please don't hesitate to ask =) 

Now for the typical New Year's Resolutions...

1) Loose the pooch...I want to lose the stupid fat that has decided to invade my abs region.

I hate that I look like I am pregnant. I desperately want to fit back into my clothes. I don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe. I have already started some fitness stuff and have lost inches!! I started as a size 13 jean and now I wear a size 11 (yeah!!). I have been going to yoga classes with the lovely Emily and it has been amazing. I think it was good for me to start out small and gain some of my core back that I lost while being pregnant. Yoga is amazing!! It has helped me to relax, gain some muscle slowly back, and my back/neck/shoulders has never felt better. I would like to work my way up to something a little more intense and get back to running once it starts to warm up (eventually). So if you need a workout buddy, don't hesitate to ask me =) I really need the accountability/motivation. 

2) Blog at least once a week.

This one will be really hard for me. I will really have to buckle down and motivate myself to do it. I have so much to say but don't want to spend the time organizing my thoughts so that they make sense and don't sound harsh or stupid. I wanted to make a difficult resolution because I really wanted to push myself. So here it is...feel free to bug me about a blog post if I am slacking ;)

3) Keep a pray journal and dedicate more of my time to praying.

This one I keep meaning to do all the time but somehow I forget. How can you forget to take time to just pray? Don't read into this wrong... I pray (a lot) but it is really just random/short prayers throughout the day, not dedicated time to just pray. But what I really want is to take more time to pray without interruption and with as much time as it takes for that day. This one I haven't done as well with as I would like but there is plenty of time to improve. 

4) Read the whole Bible with Eric and continue doing a couple's devotion.

It has always been a goal of mine to read the whole Bible. What better motivation than to do it with you spouse! 

5) Decide where and what I want to get my master's and Start a program.

See above post about picking a program.  

So there you have it! My hopes and goals for 2014. I hope that you all have a very blessed 2014 and that it is everything you hope and dream of =)

Cheers to 2014!