Money, money, money, money, MONEY

This is a little late of my once a week blog but her it is...

I have no one idea what to write this blog on. I had so many ideas weeks ago but I don’t think I could develop them into anything now. One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is money. I hate how money is needed for like everything. Eric and I have been living under the poverty line since we got married. We have been able to make it because we live off less, I had the ability to stay on my parents insurance, and Eric (thankfully) hasn’t needed health care. But still, we were/are living month to month and our savings every month (if any) are very minimal. It makes me wonder if we will ever make it out of this phase. I believe the phrase that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer is true. And what (if anything can be don’t about it) is being done about it?

I am asking myself if the new law to provide health care for those working 30+ hours will really work. I am finding myself unable to get that many hours at my current job because they don’t want the added cost of paying benefits. Now I could be totally wrong at how this is supposed to work but to me, it doesn’t seem like it will work that great. Yeah, it might provide more jobs for people but most people need something more substantial.

My friend Tina just posted this article that I thought was very true.

http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/no--you-can-t-just--bootstrap--yourself-out-of-poverty-172104522.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory

I have only experienced the first two parts of this article but it doesn’t make my situation any easier. When she posted it she said, “Amen! There are so many bigger or hidden forces at work that you don't know about unless you live it, that's why you can't make assumptions and seek to recommend solutions that work for one group to another group where those solutions are unobtainable”. I think this is a very true statement. (Tina, I appreciate your posts because I truly believe that you get it!)

I also wonder if I should just give up my search of my “dream job” and work at like McDonalds and work into management just so I can have a full-time job. To me, that is no way to live. I also find myself in the situation where a business won’t hire me because I am searching for a full-time position in a field that I would consider my “dream field” (which is athletics, btw). How am I supposed to gain experience in anything if no one will give me a chance? Or if my “dream field” won’t hire me because of my “lack” of experience.

I feel like I work really hard but don’t get very far very fast. It is the most frustrating and depressing thing to me. I keep trying to stay positive and remind myself that God has a plan but the more we wait, the more sad I get about the situation.

What I really want is

1. For this to not be anyone’s situation. That people who need jobs find them and find the ones that they want.

2. For there to be some way for the poor to get out of the poor phase of their life.

3. For people who are in good positions to find ways to help others reach a better phase in their life. Whether that be financially, socially or by praying.

It might seem like I am complaining (which I probably am). But to me it is fighting. All I want is a chance to prove how good a worker I can be and how I thrive on helping other people. Also, I hope to enlighten people that not everyone asks to be put in this situation. That some people don’t abuse the help that they are given. That they embrace the help they are given to help make opportunities for themselves. That the truly need it to hopefully one day get out of their situation. 

This week was really stressful on me and I guess this was my way to process it. I had to do some things that I didn’t really want to do because of the position that we are in. But I did, because it needed to be done and to be honest, I am happy to help in any way that I can. Just one day I hope to not have to do some things because I have to but because I want to.

Don’t beat me up too much over this post...just pray for me or anyone that you know who is in this situation. =)

Insert Typical New Year's Resolution Here...

I am really mad at myself that I haven't written a blog post in two months. I have so much that I want to write about but I didn't have the discipline/will-power to sit down and think through my thoughts. It takes me so long to sort through my thoughts and get them written down the exact way that I want them. Here are my hopes for 2014 and my resolutions for 2014. This will be a longer post, just to give you warning ;)

A few things that I am hoping for this year...

1) That we finally will be able to move into a place of our own.

I know that things could be much worse and that I should be thankful that I even have a place to live. But we have been living with someone for over a year now and it has become really hard. I miss our things. You know the things that you really don't need but the things that you enjoy. Like our DVD's, books, pots and pans, my blender, our KING size bed, and many more things. I know that it is possible to live on very little and still have a good life but, boy do I miss our things. So many of our friends and family bought us so many wonderful things and I am very sad that I don't get to use/enjoy them. 

2) That I can find either a full-time job with benefits or a job that increases our income substantially while Eric finishes up school.

I have been searching for a full-time job in my field (Sport Management) since I graduated in 2012. Yes, I did just have a baby but I am/was eager to work. I want a career. Instead I feel like somedays I will never have one. I am reminded by many people that I am young (which I am when I really think about it and convince myself) and that I still have my whole life ahead of me (which I do). But my anxiety about not finding a job right now in my field makes me freak out. That if I don't find a job now I will miss the boat and fall really behind and I will never gain the experience I need to get a job in my field. Cuz you know you have to have like 3-5 years experience even though it is entry-level position. It is such a vicious cycle that I am not fond of at all. I have had several job interviews and I have applied to many places and nothing...nota. It has been extremely hard for me to watch people I know get these opportunities that I could have had or should have had. It takes a lot of energy and strength to remind myself that God has a plan for me and that I just need to be patient. Patience is not easy for me by any means. 

3) That I can/will start a Graduate program.

I want to get my masters but I feel like I have a billion questions. What do I get my master's in... Sport Management, Sport Administration, Public Administration, MBA, Recreation, etc? Where do I get it from? Should I do it online or commute. Should I be a graduate assistant? I have no idea what to do. I have even thought about going back to school to get a teaching certificate in Math or get another bachelor's in something else. I just need someone to limit my options so that I can pick something. So if anyone has any suggestions...please don't hesitate to ask =) 

Now for the typical New Year's Resolutions...

1) Loose the pooch...I want to lose the stupid fat that has decided to invade my abs region.

I hate that I look like I am pregnant. I desperately want to fit back into my clothes. I don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe. I have already started some fitness stuff and have lost inches!! I started as a size 13 jean and now I wear a size 11 (yeah!!). I have been going to yoga classes with the lovely Emily and it has been amazing. I think it was good for me to start out small and gain some of my core back that I lost while being pregnant. Yoga is amazing!! It has helped me to relax, gain some muscle slowly back, and my back/neck/shoulders has never felt better. I would like to work my way up to something a little more intense and get back to running once it starts to warm up (eventually). So if you need a workout buddy, don't hesitate to ask me =) I really need the accountability/motivation. 

2) Blog at least once a week.

This one will be really hard for me. I will really have to buckle down and motivate myself to do it. I have so much to say but don't want to spend the time organizing my thoughts so that they make sense and don't sound harsh or stupid. I wanted to make a difficult resolution because I really wanted to push myself. So here it is...feel free to bug me about a blog post if I am slacking ;)

3) Keep a pray journal and dedicate more of my time to praying.

This one I keep meaning to do all the time but somehow I forget. How can you forget to take time to just pray? Don't read into this wrong... I pray (a lot) but it is really just random/short prayers throughout the day, not dedicated time to just pray. But what I really want is to take more time to pray without interruption and with as much time as it takes for that day. This one I haven't done as well with as I would like but there is plenty of time to improve. 

4) Read the whole Bible with Eric and continue doing a couple's devotion.

It has always been a goal of mine to read the whole Bible. What better motivation than to do it with you spouse! 

5) Decide where and what I want to get my master's and Start a program.

See above post about picking a program.  

So there you have it! My hopes and goals for 2014. I hope that you all have a very blessed 2014 and that it is everything you hope and dream of =)

Cheers to 2014!

 

Bittersweet Farewell

This weekend was AMAZING. I almost hate to say it like that considering the circumstances but I will give you my reasoning. This weekend we celebrated the life of Eric’s grandmother, Sophie. It was a bittersweet goodbye. She had been fighting cancer for a long time and was really suffering. It is comforting to know that she is no longer suffering and that she is in the presence of the Lord. But, it is really sad that she is no longer with us.

She was an amazing woman and I wish that I could have had more time with her earlier in her life. I met her about 5 years ago. I didn’t really get to know her until about 3 years ago. There are several things I love about her.

1) She has the biggest heart and a lot of love for the Lord. She always said that she would pray for things in our life and I truly believe she did.

2) She is one of the funniest people I know. She has the quickest wit I have heard/seen.

3) She wasn’t afraid to say the hard things.

4) She loved her family dearly.

5) And many more things....

I believe that God had perfect timing for this, not that it makes it any easier. It still doesn’t seem real. I know that it was really refreshing to have time away from a busy life schedule to spend with family and relax. As hard as it is/was to say goodbye, it brought on some much needed family time.

Things I loved doing...

1) Listening to the funny stories at Olive Garden

2) Watching Harper being confused about seeing her twin cousins Charlotte and Marisa

3) Playing a new game called “Spot It” (And yes, I already bought my own)

4) Playing Dutch Blitz

5) Seeing all of Eric’s family (Laura, Don, Ryan, Sharon, Wayne, Charlotte, Marisa, Carol, Amber, Lorena, Ken, Michaela, Josiah, Connor, Uncle John, Janna, Jo, Randy, Jacqui, and John)

6) Laughs at the bar...many, many laughs

7) Going to the Mall of America with Eric, Harper and Ryan...where I got an awesome looking pair of Merrells, a new Vera Bradley wallet, a pair of Columbia sport sunglasses and the game Spot It.

8) Dinner at Chipotle where Harper preceded to drink her bottle pretty much upside down and the Chipotle worker was so amazed/amused by her.

And probably many, many more fun times with family

I am not trying to be insensitive or hurt anyone’s feelings, so I hope that no one took this like that. I loved Sophie and she was an amazing woman. I believe that she would have wanted this for us.  I have grown closer to my husband and his family. As much as it hurts to say goodbye, God has his perfect plan. It was a time for us to get together and enjoy our family. It was also a time to mourn. Thank you for the amazing life you shared with us, Sophie. We will miss you. 

My aunt is cooler than yours (No, seriously!)

Most of you probably don’t know that I have a very small immediate family. I lost my grandpa (dad’s dad) before I was born, my uncle (mom’s brother) when I was 6 months old, my aunt (dad’s sister) when I was 8, and my grandma (dad’s mom) when I was 22. I have one set of grandparents left and my mom and dad only have one sibling left between the two of them. I love my small family because we are so close but I definitely miss the family members that I lost too soon. I would have also liked to have known the members that I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting. From what I hear, they were pretty great.

This post is a tribute to my aunt. She is pretty awesome. My mom always jokes that if she didn’t give birth to me, she would have thought that I was her sister’s daughter. I am honored to be like my aunt. She is truly an amazing person and it is nice to have someone who is as clumsy as me =) She is one of the strongest people I know. She works very hard to provide for her family, she cares about everyone, and has a great sense of humor. She doesn’t let a lot get her down and she continues to praise God through the hard times.

My aunt, Sherri, was diagnosed with breast cancer this past February. It was a very hard time for the whole family. All we kept thinking was “not again”. In March, she began her fight against cancer. She had several meetings and lots of decisions to make about what care she was going to have. She has had many rounds of chemo and is almost done with her radiation. I am very sad that she has to go through all of this treatment and I pray that she can overcome this.

I choose to see a positive side of this. When she was diagnosed, she decided to have her treatments at a facility in northern Illinois. This has given my family the opportunity to see her more. My mom has gone up several times to see her and she has even been able to bring Harper up with her. It has been nice for my family to be able to see some other family members that we don’t get to see so often because we live about 500 miles away from each other. She has even come down to our neck of the woods to hang out with us. She went to the softball game I was helping to coach just to watch the game. She also went and sat at my brother’s soccer game, even though she didn’t know the rules of soccer. It has been so nice to see her and on our own turf to boot.

A few weekends ago, I had the pleasure of meeting with my aunt and cousin up in Chicago to go to the Cubs game. I just love her spirit and willingness to try new things. I look at that trait and I think, “that’s where I got that from”. I love my aunt and I can’t believe how strong she has been through this whole thing. She is still the bubbly, funny, strong women that I have come to love. I LOVE you, Sherri, and lets kick this cancer where it hurts!

What I wanted people to get from this post is:

1) My aunt is the best aunt in the world =)

2) She is one of the strongest people I know and I am honored to call her my aunt

3) Please pray for her journey. Pray that the cancer stays away and that she will live a long, healthy life

Disclaimer...I got all of these pics from Brittany's facebook so hopefully she won't be mad at me ;)

Harper is 1!

My baby girl is 1. I can’t believe that Harper is a year old already. I know that I am almost a month late but with the going to a destination wedding and helping out, I did not have time to say anything. So I am thinking, better late than never. It was very sad for me to miss my baby girl’s 1^st birthday but I know she will not remember it and I was glad to share in Adam and Kate’s special day.

There are a few things I want to accomplish in the post. I want to reminisce about my pregnancy, the day she was born and what she can do now.

Pregnancy:

Harper was due in late August. For those of you who have never been pregnant and don’t know this feeling, carrying a baby is like carrying a furnace on your stomach (at least it was for me) and being the most pregnant during the hottest months was like torture. It was like 90-110 the whole month of July and August and I was so miserable. Not only was I huge but I was so HOT! I was so hot that we had our bedroom air conditioner on full blast and our ceiling fan on the highest setting. I froze my poor husband out but the cool air felt so good! If you don’t know anything about Harper, you should know that she is a big tease and it started when she was in the womb. There were and are definitely a lot of  “just kidding/psyche” moments when it comes to her. The whole last month of my pregnancy was a big tease.

                                                  (Special thanks to Jaklyn Cato for my beautiful pregnancy photos)

                                                                            (Leaving the house for the hospital)

Harper’s Birth:

Harper’s arrival was anything but climatic. After I realized that my fantasy of her arriving early wasn’t going to happen, I got really anxious. Like really anxious. I had like two weeks of constantly getting contractions at night but waking up to nothing happening. It was so frustrating. Finally, I needed to schedule a day to be induced. We were to arrive the night before to get me prepped for the induction in the morning. When we got there around 4, I found out that I started labor. I had so many random contractions the weeks prior that I had no idea that my labor had actually started. She hooked me up to the monitor just to check and she asked me if I felt that contraction. I was like, “ I am having contractions”? Then I kept feeling what I would consider little contractions and asked her if they were contractions because I had no idea. The beginning stages weren’t intense at all but the whole process took SO long. Because I was supposed to be an induction, I got there SUPER early. This is the only part that I hated about the labor. I really wanted a natural birth but by the time I reached 6 to 8 hours, I was so tired. It was really hard to be there earlier than normal and for it to have been night. I am convinced that more women could have a natural birth if it didn’t take so long. I do not do well with anything if I am tired. Once I reached 16 hours of being awake, I decided to take some drugs. I started with just a pain medicine, which knocked me out like almost immediately. It was so nice to get some rest. After I woke up, the contractions started to get more intense. I just wanted to walk/move through them but that meant that I wasn’t being monitored with the strap or blood pressure cuff. It was definitely a battle between the nurse and I. I hated being confined to the bed/medicine ball. Around 4am (after being there for about 12 hours), I decided to just get the epidural (Btw, epidurals are wonderful. Yes, it has its pros and cons, but it made my experience more enjoyable because I was able to rest). The contractions were getting more intense and I was SO tired. After that, the whole thing happened so fast. The doctor came in around 8am and I had jumped from 6 ½ cm to almost 10. It was close to time to push. Harper took her time getting here, that’s for sure. She made me work for it. She kept wanting to come but then changed her mind. It was the perfect combination of Eric and I. Finally at 9:19am I had our baby girl.

So to recap...1. I didn’t get the middle of the night, wake your husband up water breaking (my water never actually really broke. Harper blocked it so it was quite messy when I actually delivered) 2. I didn’t get my natural childbirth 3. Oh, my husband passed out when I was getting my epidural 4. I was still there when the nurse that admitted me came back for her next shift (which is not common) 5. I was awake for almost 48 hours before I could go to sleep again. But hey, we have our baby girl so all is well.

                                                                           (Does she look like a Harper?)

Present:

I came home from the wedding to a child who not only can climb, but also wants to climb EVERYTHING!! She has graduated from formula and is drinking whole milk and eating meals just like the rest of us. We are starting to get her to drink from a cup with a straw. She has tried (and likes) peanut butter. I was a little scared for this one because I have a peanut allergy. She says yes to every question we ask her. She knows how to use my smartphone or what it means when the phone rings. She knows that the creak of the door means that someone came home. My baby is smart and getting so big. I didn’t know how smart babies are or could be until I was living with one 24/7. I keep saying, “I can’t believe she can do that” or “I can’t believe she knows what that means.” She is a surprising 21 pounds and 28 ½ inches long. We have come a long way from our 7lbs6oz, 20 ½ inches baby girl. What a year this has been.  

Sorry I haven't posted in a while and sorry(to Harper) that it is like a month late. 

Happy Birthday Harper! We love you =)